I recently read an article on LinkedIn that moved me to respond. As I was writing my response – I realized this was worthy of a post, in and of itself. The author taught me a valuable lesson that I’d learned previously from a negative and underhanded co-worker. There is no reason to be drawn DOWN to the level of a negative person – ever. Here’s my response:
So… I read this article, intrigued by the title: “…Your Boss Hates You…” sure the writer was being ironic. Sadly – I was wrong. Then I read the article, and the comments, and was shifted, slightly, in how I’ll temper my comments. As someone said below – “The sad thing is many people can relate to this article, me being one.” Me too.
HOWEVER… what’s most important IMHO about information is what we choose to do with it. Many of us feel very strongly (even passionately) about things such as workplace conditions and how to grow in our careers. But it’s our actions or responses to those things that shows character and depth of thought and is ultimately the impression we leave on people (co-workers and bosses included!).
If you go into the workplace, convinced your boss has it out for you – who’s to say, that’s not the energy you’re giving off right off the bat, potentially creating an adversarial relationship right from the start. And this is with someone who could be positively influential in your life. I too, have had bad bosses. Actually – I’ve had some horrible ones, one of whom was not even a boss but was so threatened by my presence, did all they could to have me moved along and removed.
The interesting thing is that role, more than any other I’ve had, was the one where I feel I learned the most; true strength of character, the value of patience and consistency and most importantly, I learned, very clearly, what NOT to do. I also learned to be really proud of who I am, and therefore became less concerned about how I was perceived by others I could see were not worthy of being concerned about. I am forever in her debt for what she taught me.
Also – I do kinda wish I lived in the wonderful world the author lives in, where middle management makes $225k/year and are threatened by their underlings. But interestingly, this seems like a very Trumpish (ie immature) way of dealing with the issues.
Gleaned from the article:
- I am a stud – I have sex more often than the boss does…
- I am super smart and the boss is stupid…
- He’s paranoid and is sure I’m out to get him (I think he may be right on this one..)…
- He scammed his way in…
- Boy – I’ll show him…
I feel really bad for the author because the world he lives in really does sound like a drag.
We do however agree on some things…
“If you have competence, you have control over your career and mission in life.
If you have a mission, you have freedom.
If you have friends, you have a good life.”
We all have control over our destinies. I honestly believe there’s no need to take the advice given here. In fact, in the long run, I believe it will be harmful to your career, and frankly even your life.
Instead – spend some time listening to or reading someone like Simon Sinek. Here are few quotes by him.
- Leadership is not a rank or a position; it is a choice – a choice to look after the person to the left of us & the person to the right of us
- A team is not a group of people that work together. A team is a group of people that trust each other
- At well led companies, people talk about the strength of the values. At poorly led companies, people complain about the pay & benefits
- Hire people inspired to achieve something big over people who demand something big before they feel inspired
- “The best organizations don’t look out the side windows, focusing on their competition. The best organizations look out the front window, focused on where they are going” (same with people! – tl)
I promise you your time will be much better spent!
So… hold your head high, surround yourself with positive people and positive energy, and you’ll be amazed at what will start to come your way!
En-May
I appreciate your article, Tzachi. As a motivational speaker, intuitive strategic advisor, I see negativity as a habitual relationship for many people, companies, and families. It’s “comfortable” and familiar to remain in a state of negativity, because it’s predictable, and it’s outcome is predetermined. It requires no risk. It’s full of a kind of righteousness of I-told-you-so’s that validate negative outcomes, negative productivity, breaking the human spirit. Most of us know exactly what we don’t want. That’s because we learned what we don’t want somewhere in our lives; from a parent, an experience, a generational memory, or even a dream. But to know what we do want is to be and feel positive; emotionally, spiritually, physically, and or mentally. This is an inner trust that builds personal confidence, a release from self doubt; the inner compass that points to the greatest and highest outcome. Thank you for your energizing flow.
tzachi
Thank you En-May. I can think of no better who radiates positive energy than yourself and I feel honored and blessed to have you in my life at this time. I am currently struggling with how to model the importance of embracing our own individual unique strengths for someone who is truly struggling with a more challenging mentality and one of the ways I draw great strength is spending time around those who inspire me. I look forward to seeing you later this week!! And thank you for sharing. I truly appreciate it.
Debra Meehl
No truer words have been spoken. I will also add that if you have a positive self image and a trust in the divine you will never stay somewhere toxic nor will you blame others for your condition. As we grow we sometimes out grow our working communities, and we are given many opportunities to move on. When we get scared or stuck we can then have many negative consequences so as to lead us to make better choices. Human behavior is always about pain or pleasure
tzachi
Wise words Debra. Another way to stay healthy and positive is by surrounding ourselves with those people who raise us all up. I appreciate your wisdom and the important work you do. Thanks for commenting.